Secret decoder ring

I used to think that Bush was simply lying, but since I found the secret decoder ring, I realize that’s not strictly accurate. It’s more like he’s talking in code when he says things like “We are fighting to bring freedom to the Iraqi people.”

For instance, take the word “people”. When Bush uses this term, what he really means is, “corporation”, which is not such a stretch because after all a corporation is now somehow considered a “person” whose rights are protected by the Bill of Rights, just like you and me and other “people”. Thus, in any sentence where “people’s” freedoms are being celebrated, what Bush really means is, a corporation’s freedom to operate without government intervention or oversight.

Then there’s the word, “Iraqi”. Because Bush sees everything through a corporate lens, what Bush means by this is, foreign shareholders in the Iraqi economy. Thus, because a key objective of the Iraq invasion and occupation was the takeover of the Iraqi economy by global corporations, what Bush means when he says we are fighting to “bring freedom to the Iraqi people”, is that we are fighting to allow global corporations to operate freely in Iraq.

Then there’s the word “we”, by which Bush means “you”. When Bush says, “we” are fighting, he doesn’t mean himself or his family or anybody’s children that he knows. He means you and your children. Thus, the reason we are in Iraq? “You and your children are fighting to allow global corporations to operate freely in Iraq.”

Let freedom ring.